I never get very personal on the blog and today–I feel like sharing something with you about something that I have been going through.
After having my youngest child about 20 months ago, my doctor decided that he thought I was suffering from depression. I was happy to be a mom but for some reason I was having the worse crying spells, I grew extremely anxious about things and could not handle the everyday stress of life.
My doctor finally diagnosed me with postpartum depression. For some reason, the term depression really hit me hard. I felt that depression was almost a bad word that wasn’t spoken–and when it was, people instantly thought bad about you.
I was put on an antidepressant about 3 months after giving birth. This helped my moods greatly and gave me a different sense of life. I was happy again, able to venture out and the happiness came back.
Please know that I am not encouraging anyone to stop taking medications. You should always consult your doctor before deciding to stop. I was given the go ahead from my doctor because he felt it was time.
About 2 weeks ago, I made the decision that I no longer wanted to be dependant on the medication and was ready to experience my life with out it. While I was really excited about this–I also didn’t relize the chemical dependancy that my body had on it. My doctor explained to me the repercussions of stopping the medication and how I would probably suffer from withdrawls. He explained several different kinds–and to be honest, I didn’t quite understand what he meant by this. withdrawls? Like something a drug addict feels?
Doesn’t sound like it could happen to me.
So it began. I actually thought I was just going to stop the medication all together–thinking that I could stop and everything would be ok. I was wrong.
I started feeling withdrawls almost instantly. Nausea,head aches, dizzy spells, mood swings– and it was bad. Nothing I could really prepare myself for. Over the next couple of days I felt as though all I could do–or even WANTED to do, was lay in bed.
I have been back and forth to the doctor the last couple of days hoping that he can help me. The only way to stop the side effects–is to continue back on the medication–or pull through.
So the last day or so–I have been feeling better. I can say that for the most part–most symptoms are gone. But here I am. Happy about my decision but it has put a huge strain on my family. George was providing as much comfort as he could–but I feel bad for the things I may have had him experience the last few days.
To be honest–I went back and forth about writing this. But I felt it was only fair for you all to know why I haven’t been so persistant with emails and deal posting. I have had some helpers over the last couple of days–so I can still get the deals to you. I hope to be back to normal soon–and I plan to feel better than ever 🙂